Family Stories

Okay, here's a couple of family stories which might sound like they're made up - but I swear they're not. I know I shouldn't swear, but darn it, I just can't help myself.

Story Number One: - My uncle HATES taxes. He hates them so much he goes to great lengths to not have to pay them. So once he raised a bunch of goats, and gave them all names and social security numbers and tried to claim them as dependents on his tax forms.


Then another time he went in to the tax office on the very last day possible to pay his taxes, like one minute before the office was going to close, and he paid his taxes in nothing but Susan B. Anthony silver dollars. They said to him, "I'm sorry sir, but we can't accept this money for your taxes." So he says, "Okay, then sign this form," and he takes out this paper that he had typed up that says 'We do not accept this man's legal U.S. currency for his tax money, and he is hereby exempt from paying taxes.' So of course they wouldn't sign the form, and of course they took all of the Susan B. Anthony silver dollars.

The next year they were ready for him with machines that could count silver dollars.

Story Number 2: My grandparents were out looking for new fixtures for their house, and they were checking out faucets, and my grandma saw letters on them, and she says, "Oh Fred! Wouldn't it be great if we could get F for Fred and G for Gene?" and he says, "Oh Gene, that's H for Hot and C for Cold!"