A Sample of My Work From Work
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Here's a sample of something I've written for my job. I figure many of you would find this to be amusing, if not quite as passionate as my normal posts. I promise that I'll have a real post up in the next day or so.
Grownups Like Toys Too
Last week I sat in my apartment – playing a video game – Kingdom Hearts 2. It’s a video game that mixes Final Fantasy with Disney characters. I can hear you laughing, “Disney with Final Fantasy? What’s next – Looney Tunes and Star Wars?” No – really – it’s an excellent game. So there I was playing it, when in walks a girl, “WHAT are you doing? Playing a video game? But you’re 28 years old! Grow up! Be serious! Get a life! Go get a real job!” And she left, leaving me in peace with the relaxing glow of my PS2.
People often expect you to grow up and act serious once you start getting old. The truth though is that grownups like toys too. If you took the most grumpy old man, like say a 75 year old English professor, and left him alone for 3 hours in a room full of Slinky®s, Legos, a Sand Pit, Virgil’s Aeneid, and the complete works of William Shakespeare, you’d find him in the sand pit surrounded by 15 foot tall Lego towers and 20 foot tall sand pyramids with Slinky®s racing down the sides. And yes, the professor would have used the books, but only because he wanted to make his Lego buildings an extra 6 inches taller.
Work is what grownups must do! Work work work! All day long, with nary a fun thought in mind! The grownups trudged back and forth, writing documents, stapling them, rewriting documents, and stapling those too. And then grownups discovered that it’s not work itself that’s important – it’s the appearance of work. As long as they can say they’re working – it doesn’t really matter if what they’re actually doing is playing. And so they invented cars, and computers, and Microsoft Excel spreadsheets, and bicycles. Instead of calling them “toys” they called them “hobbies”, and instead of “playing with them”, like you would do with a train or a sand pit, they would “work on them” so they would appear to be working by all the other grownup people!
There are a few jobs out there where you can be lucky enough to get paid to play. “What?! What are these jobs?” Simple – it’s jobs like being on Mister Wizard, or Jack*** (***=word that is inappropriate in some circles and means ‘buttocks’ or ‘donkey’. So the show could be interpreted either Jackbuttocks or Jackdonkey). “Well, how can I get these jobs? Those sound like fun!” Simple – you have to be either:
1) a complete nerd who’s really good at science and has spent their whole life studying science type subjects
or
2) A person who has absolutely no nerves left in their body and so they are willing to do crazy stunts like falling off of buildings or getting punched in the face repeatedly by a professional boxer who has twice as much body mass as you do.
“What? You mean I have to be either a complete nerd or a total moron?” Yes! That’s right!
But these nerds & idiots have so much fun – and they get PAID for doing this!
In Jack*** they drive around golf carts all over the fairway and treat them like they’re off-road vehicles – doing donuts on the fairway and jumping into and over every sand pit and water trap on the course.
On the show MythBusters they get to work on how to destroy a bridge by having a thousand soldiers marching over it in synch, or go figure out if quicksand can actually kill people and disprove it by building your own sand pit full of quicksand and then swimming in it.
So be a nerd or an idiot, and you might actually get paid for playing. Or as a grownup, if you care about “being grownup”, you forever face the consequences of having to appear to be hard at work. As for me, I stopped caring about appearing grownup years ago. Now I’m off to play in my sand pit with my Star Wars toys to make a life-size Luke fall in the life-size Sarlacc pit. I love my 40-acre sand pit.
Christian Farmer is web content specialist who is very opinionated on a wide variety of subjects for which he has no official credentials. For more information on toys, see http://www.justoutdoortoys.com.
Here's a sample of something I've written for my job. I figure many of you would find this to be amusing, if not quite as passionate as my normal posts. I promise that I'll have a real post up in the next day or so.
Grownups Like Toys Too
Last week I sat in my apartment – playing a video game – Kingdom Hearts 2. It’s a video game that mixes Final Fantasy with Disney characters. I can hear you laughing, “Disney with Final Fantasy? What’s next – Looney Tunes and Star Wars?” No – really – it’s an excellent game. So there I was playing it, when in walks a girl, “WHAT are you doing? Playing a video game? But you’re 28 years old! Grow up! Be serious! Get a life! Go get a real job!” And she left, leaving me in peace with the relaxing glow of my PS2.
People often expect you to grow up and act serious once you start getting old. The truth though is that grownups like toys too. If you took the most grumpy old man, like say a 75 year old English professor, and left him alone for 3 hours in a room full of Slinky®s, Legos, a Sand Pit, Virgil’s Aeneid, and the complete works of William Shakespeare, you’d find him in the sand pit surrounded by 15 foot tall Lego towers and 20 foot tall sand pyramids with Slinky®s racing down the sides. And yes, the professor would have used the books, but only because he wanted to make his Lego buildings an extra 6 inches taller.
Work is what grownups must do! Work work work! All day long, with nary a fun thought in mind! The grownups trudged back and forth, writing documents, stapling them, rewriting documents, and stapling those too. And then grownups discovered that it’s not work itself that’s important – it’s the appearance of work. As long as they can say they’re working – it doesn’t really matter if what they’re actually doing is playing. And so they invented cars, and computers, and Microsoft Excel spreadsheets, and bicycles. Instead of calling them “toys” they called them “hobbies”, and instead of “playing with them”, like you would do with a train or a sand pit, they would “work on them” so they would appear to be working by all the other grownup people!
There are a few jobs out there where you can be lucky enough to get paid to play. “What?! What are these jobs?” Simple – it’s jobs like being on Mister Wizard, or Jack*** (***=word that is inappropriate in some circles and means ‘buttocks’ or ‘donkey’. So the show could be interpreted either Jackbuttocks or Jackdonkey). “Well, how can I get these jobs? Those sound like fun!” Simple – you have to be either:
1) a complete nerd who’s really good at science and has spent their whole life studying science type subjects
or
2) A person who has absolutely no nerves left in their body and so they are willing to do crazy stunts like falling off of buildings or getting punched in the face repeatedly by a professional boxer who has twice as much body mass as you do.
“What? You mean I have to be either a complete nerd or a total moron?” Yes! That’s right!
But these nerds & idiots have so much fun – and they get PAID for doing this!
In Jack*** they drive around golf carts all over the fairway and treat them like they’re off-road vehicles – doing donuts on the fairway and jumping into and over every sand pit and water trap on the course.
On the show MythBusters they get to work on how to destroy a bridge by having a thousand soldiers marching over it in synch, or go figure out if quicksand can actually kill people and disprove it by building your own sand pit full of quicksand and then swimming in it.
So be a nerd or an idiot, and you might actually get paid for playing. Or as a grownup, if you care about “being grownup”, you forever face the consequences of having to appear to be hard at work. As for me, I stopped caring about appearing grownup years ago. Now I’m off to play in my sand pit with my Star Wars toys to make a life-size Luke fall in the life-size Sarlacc pit. I love my 40-acre sand pit.
Christian Farmer is web content specialist who is very opinionated on a wide variety of subjects for which he has no official credentials. For more information on toys, see http://www.justoutdoortoys.com.
posted by CT at 10:03 AM
4 Comments:
My brother-in-law makes toys as a hobby, of course he's both a complete retard and a nerd. (the idiot really really thinks he is a jedi) Does this mean that he is in fact a genius that will make a ton of money? And I'm just f'd?
Since they're at opposite ends of the intelligence spectrum, I would think that being both would cancel each other out and just screw him.
I love donuts!
Wheww that felt good to say.
Jared from Subway
I love donuts!
Wheww that felt good to say.
Jared from Subway
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