A Copout
Author’s Note: The names in the following flyer have been changed to protect the innocent. It was written as a joke, and the author had the consent of the person of whom the flyer was written about. Her roommates loved the flyer, and helped to pass it out. She herself read the flyer before it was passed out. Do not worry, no harm came to her. The following flyer is also a copout by the author who is still exhausted, and would most likely even fall asleep during Batman Begins but thinks you should find this amusing.
A FINAL FAREWELL
When: Thursday, 6:00 p.m.—Whatever Hour Necessary for the Task to be Complete
Where: You need to be smart enough to figure it out – if you can’t, you aren’t allowed to attend.
Brothers and Sisters – One more activity has been planned for this week. A wonderful, SOCIAL activity. One of the ladies in the ward, whose name shall remain unmentioned, but for sake of her anonymity we shall only say that her name might be similar to Bephanie Bohnson. This dear sister shall be leaving the ward soon, very soon, never to return, and never to see any of us ever again. This saddens her greatly, and she doesn’t want to leave our complex with so many great opportunities missed. This lady believes firmly in Romans 16:16, so much that she’s based her whole testimony on it. “What in the world is Romans 16:16?” you ask? Why – I’m shocked that you don’t know your scriptures. Did you not attend Seminary? For Shame. Plainly put it says, “Salute one another with an holy kiss.” Yes dear brethren, she wants to kiss every last one of us before she leaves for home. Even the engaged brethren if their fiancés so permit.
She will be receiving men for this cause at her current place of residence. This place of residence might just include the number 5 and the number 1, so you know perhaps number 51 or number 15, or even 1 or 5. Whichever one of those that contain a girl whose name rhymes with Tephanie Tohnson. She has been practicing long and hard for this activity. She told me that she’s been doing lip exercises in her bedroom in order to increase both her endurance and strength. Her Kiss Maniacs Magazine says this is a sure way to increase overall kissing performance. Men have also been involved in her training. She is uncertain of the overall number of men, but she said if she had to make a rough guess it would have to be anywhere from 200 to 300 men in the last year. 20 of those men have told me that out of all the 50 women they had each kissed she was the top kisser, and another hundred said they ranked her in the top three. Please don’t disappoint her, she is wonderful, and is only doing this because she loves each and every one of you. I am making this flyer at her request – otherwise I would have selfishly kept her all to myself. Please, I beg you, come return the love that she shows you. I swear that you shall never regret it!!
A FINAL FAREWELL
When: Thursday, 6:00 p.m.—Whatever Hour Necessary for the Task to be Complete
Where: You need to be smart enough to figure it out – if you can’t, you aren’t allowed to attend.
Brothers and Sisters – One more activity has been planned for this week. A wonderful, SOCIAL activity. One of the ladies in the ward, whose name shall remain unmentioned, but for sake of her anonymity we shall only say that her name might be similar to Bephanie Bohnson. This dear sister shall be leaving the ward soon, very soon, never to return, and never to see any of us ever again. This saddens her greatly, and she doesn’t want to leave our complex with so many great opportunities missed. This lady believes firmly in Romans 16:16, so much that she’s based her whole testimony on it. “What in the world is Romans 16:16?” you ask? Why – I’m shocked that you don’t know your scriptures. Did you not attend Seminary? For Shame. Plainly put it says, “Salute one another with an holy kiss.” Yes dear brethren, she wants to kiss every last one of us before she leaves for home. Even the engaged brethren if their fiancés so permit.
She will be receiving men for this cause at her current place of residence. This place of residence might just include the number 5 and the number 1, so you know perhaps number 51 or number 15, or even 1 or 5. Whichever one of those that contain a girl whose name rhymes with Tephanie Tohnson. She has been practicing long and hard for this activity. She told me that she’s been doing lip exercises in her bedroom in order to increase both her endurance and strength. Her Kiss Maniacs Magazine says this is a sure way to increase overall kissing performance. Men have also been involved in her training. She is uncertain of the overall number of men, but she said if she had to make a rough guess it would have to be anywhere from 200 to 300 men in the last year. 20 of those men have told me that out of all the 50 women they had each kissed she was the top kisser, and another hundred said they ranked her in the top three. Please don’t disappoint her, she is wonderful, and is only doing this because she loves each and every one of you. I am making this flyer at her request – otherwise I would have selfishly kept her all to myself. Please, I beg you, come return the love that she shows you. I swear that you shall never regret it!!
posted by CT at 12:09 PM
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