Family Stories Part 3
Just a couple of quick stories from family stuff:
Story Number 1
My grandpa's a mortician. For 13 years he was also a bishop, so everybody called him Marry 'em Bury 'em Fred. During family dinners my dad and his sisters would say, "Tell us about your day, Father," and he'd say, "Well, I had a real interesting case today..." and Grandma (who has a voice like Edith Bunker from All in the Family)would say, "Don't you do it Fred, don't tell them any stories while at the dinner table," and he'd say, "Well, I better not kids," And the kids would all say, "Come on, tell us! Tell us!" Grandpa would say, "Well, all right," And then he'd go on and tell them the story about the guy who'd fallen asleep with his head on the railroad tracks, so he didn't have any head left, or the one where the guy died in the middle of a heat wave with the air conditioning off while his wife was out of town. Or the guy they found in the river after two weeks. Dad says, "We always loved those stories."
Story Number 2
My aunt was driving down the highway with my dad in the car, and she said, "I wonder what would happen if I put the gear down to l2"(or D2 or whatever Gear 2 is on automatics these days) and Dad says, "Don't do it Susan, don't do it!" So she throws it into L2, and the car made this horrible grinding sound. She says, "Don't you tell Father, don't you tell Father!" And Grandpa finally found out about it 20 years later.
Story Number 1
My grandpa's a mortician. For 13 years he was also a bishop, so everybody called him Marry 'em Bury 'em Fred. During family dinners my dad and his sisters would say, "Tell us about your day, Father," and he'd say, "Well, I had a real interesting case today..." and Grandma (who has a voice like Edith Bunker from All in the Family)would say, "Don't you do it Fred, don't tell them any stories while at the dinner table," and he'd say, "Well, I better not kids," And the kids would all say, "Come on, tell us! Tell us!" Grandpa would say, "Well, all right," And then he'd go on and tell them the story about the guy who'd fallen asleep with his head on the railroad tracks, so he didn't have any head left, or the one where the guy died in the middle of a heat wave with the air conditioning off while his wife was out of town. Or the guy they found in the river after two weeks. Dad says, "We always loved those stories."
Story Number 2
My aunt was driving down the highway with my dad in the car, and she said, "I wonder what would happen if I put the gear down to l2"(or D2 or whatever Gear 2 is on automatics these days) and Dad says, "Don't do it Susan, don't do it!" So she throws it into L2, and the car made this horrible grinding sound. She says, "Don't you tell Father, don't you tell Father!" And Grandpa finally found out about it 20 years later.
posted by CT at 12:58 AM
5 Comments:
That first story was disturbing. How do you fall asleep with your head on the railroad tracks?
were you actually there for these stories?
I've heard my grandpa tell those stories before - can't remember if it was at the dinner table or not. But my dad 's a dentist, and he would tell us stories about his patient who had this huge swollen cheek and when he cut it open puss came out of it, or things like that. I can eat through any story about anything because of it. Unfortunately, it also means that I'm liable to bring up conversations at dinner on a date that most people cringe at.
I wouldn't cringe at that kind of thing...on the contrary, I love nasty stories. The nastier the better. I'm an EMT working on my firefighter certification, so I see many things on a daily basis that are much worse. I LOVE IT lol.
OK - so you've seen something that's grosser than a decaying corpse that has maggots crawling all over the place in & out of it because it's been decaying for a couple of weeks during a heat wave inside a building with no air conditioning? Do Tell - I would love it too!
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