The Antics of Fanatics
There are many different types of fans of things out there in the world. Fans Who Could Care Less who might possibly go see the movie if a group of friends are going to go see it and there's nothing else better to do than sit at home doing dishes, Fans Who are Merely Devoted that will go watch a movie in the first week it comes into the theater, Fans Who Care that will wait in line for a couple of hours to get a ticket, and then finally there's the Ultimate Fan.
The Ultimate Fan is the person who devotes every facet of their existence to something. The sort of fans who will convert their car to a Star Trek Spaceship. The sort that will not only dress up like Darth Maul once, but will shave their head, and get electrolosis done on it, then have their entire body tattooed and have horns implanted and get a special red/gold dye injected into their irises, and then go take ninjitsu lessons and devote the rest of their life to figuring out how to build a working lightsaber, just so they can become Darth Maul. Not that a working lightsaber wouldn't be cool, mind you!
One such Ultimate Fan lived in my complex last year. She was a huge fan of Lord of the Rings - and I mean HUGE! She wanted to call her bedroom "The Hobbit Hole", to which her roommate put her foot down. She loved the books as well as the movies, and defended them fiercely.
One day a couple of guys were over visiting her roommates, and they were discussing the movie version of Return of the King. One guy says, "I thought it was good, but it was a little too long." At this the Ultimate Fan started twitching, but held in what she thought. Then another guy, "Yeah, and Frodo and Sam were just a little too...gay...near the end of the movie," The Ultimate Fan could hold it in no longer! She started screaming at the top of her lungs, "ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE!" And she points her finger at them - not just a little bit - but she really flung that finger with fervent vigor! And she yells, "Sam wasn't gay! That's why they put Rosie in there - to show that Sam & Frodo were NOT gay!"
She yelled this at the top of her lungs with full anger. One of her roommates said, and I quote, "If there would have been a gun in the apartment, I would have feared for my life."
We thank you for reading A True Example of an Ultimate Fan
The Ultimate Fan is the person who devotes every facet of their existence to something. The sort of fans who will convert their car to a Star Trek Spaceship. The sort that will not only dress up like Darth Maul once, but will shave their head, and get electrolosis done on it, then have their entire body tattooed and have horns implanted and get a special red/gold dye injected into their irises, and then go take ninjitsu lessons and devote the rest of their life to figuring out how to build a working lightsaber, just so they can become Darth Maul. Not that a working lightsaber wouldn't be cool, mind you!
One such Ultimate Fan lived in my complex last year. She was a huge fan of Lord of the Rings - and I mean HUGE! She wanted to call her bedroom "The Hobbit Hole", to which her roommate put her foot down. She loved the books as well as the movies, and defended them fiercely.
One day a couple of guys were over visiting her roommates, and they were discussing the movie version of Return of the King. One guy says, "I thought it was good, but it was a little too long." At this the Ultimate Fan started twitching, but held in what she thought. Then another guy, "Yeah, and Frodo and Sam were just a little too...gay...near the end of the movie," The Ultimate Fan could hold it in no longer! She started screaming at the top of her lungs, "ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE!" And she points her finger at them - not just a little bit - but she really flung that finger with fervent vigor! And she yells, "Sam wasn't gay! That's why they put Rosie in there - to show that Sam & Frodo were NOT gay!"
She yelled this at the top of her lungs with full anger. One of her roommates said, and I quote, "If there would have been a gun in the apartment, I would have feared for my life."
We thank you for reading A True Example of an Ultimate Fan
posted by CT at 9:57 PM
2 Comments:
Ah the beauty of living with an ultimate fan...thanks for helping me to reminisce!
You should have seen the color her face turned when it was suggested that Rosie was merely a cover
Post a Comment
<< Home