Quest For a Pizza

Once a former roommate of mine was heard to remark, "I don't know which of the 7 deadly sins I like most - sloth or gluttony. I think I'll go with sluttony."

This true tale epitomizes sluttony.

I was sitting on my beautiful reclining chair with my feet up on the foot rest, having a lovely conversation with my 2 friends, when I hear this clunk, and I fall over backwards, so here I am with my back laying on the back of the chair which is laying on the ground, and my feet are sticking straight up in the air. I say to my friends, "What should I do?"

"ORDER A PIZZA!"

"Well, OK." So I got on the phone, and called up Papa John's and said, "I've fallen, and I want a pizza."

I asked them if they would deliver the pizza to me in my chair, they said that they couldn't do that. So I said, "OK", even though I wanted to say "Screw you" and then mildly hung up the phone. I then called up Pizza Pipeline (the restaurant currently known as American Pie (375-6111)) and, showing a much higher degree of customer relationship skills, agreed to deliver it to me right to my chair inside my apartment.

While I was waiting for my pizza, my friends went around telling people, "Hey, just go in that apartment and look to the right," so one girl just walks in, looks at me, points, and laughs. Other people came in to take pictures of me.

Some time later, the pizza guy FINALLY comes. Sitting in a chair is hard work for a sluttonist. My friends go to hide in the back. He knocks on the door, and I yell "Come in". He looks at me, and says, "You want some help?" I replied, "No, I just want my pizza." He says, "You want it on the table?" "No, over here." He goes to put it on the table. "Over here," I repeat to him, as giggles come in from the back. So he brings it to me, and I have my check book laying next to me, and I happily write him out a check. He then walks out of the apartment, while looking around all over the apartment as if he couldn't figure out whether or not he was dreaming.